This is really good! I feel like the story finds it's legs here. Part 1 should be removed, or added later. This is where I would start because it grabs the reader's attention. Sure, this scenario needs explanation, but not knowing something is part of the intrigue for the reader. The longer you delay their needs, the greater the denouement is going to be when it all comes together. That's just my two cents.
This is really good! I feel like the story finds it's legs here. Part 1 should be removed, or added later. This is where I would start because it grabs the reader's attention. Sure, this scenario needs explanation, but not knowing something is part of the intrigue for the reader. The longer you delay their needs, the greater the denouement is going to be when it all comes together. That's just my two cents.
hey, good tiramisu is hard to find