This is really good! I feel like the story finds it's legs here. Part 1 should be removed, or added later. This is where I would start because it grabs the reader's attention. Sure, this scenario needs explanation, but not knowing something is part of the intrigue for the reader. The longer you delay their needs, the greater the denouement is going to be when it all comes together. That's just my two cents.
No, keep part 2. Start with that. I just think you need to start from part 2 and rework this into a longer thing. Add part 1 back in later. Never completely discard your stuff on the cutting room floor. That shit can be worked in later. You might have to do a mix of some parts being comics, interspersed with just text. In the long run that will look cool. But, doing it piecemeal and episodic is a great way to figure out which chapters work, which don't, and it gets your stuff out there man! Focus on making the little parts first, and then you can add them up together as chapters to a book. Kind of like Canterbury Tales. And then when it's all done, you can sell it as a book. Be careful though with AI, because some places explicitly say that the works it samples and then repurposes can't be used commercially. Some can. There's some that sample your own art, photographs, and writing, so that you remain the sole owner of the property and there is no issue. You should probably look into that.
Awesome. Thank you very much for this valuable feedback and breakdown to expand the story. I truly appreciate it🙏🏾 no one has ever been so helpful before in offering practical feedback to my creative work 🙂
And interesting enough, it's reading sci-fi growing up that prepared me to take our current times at face value. More than once I've been struck by how much our shared present feels like a Philip K. Dick novel😄
This is really good! I feel like the story finds it's legs here. Part 1 should be removed, or added later. This is where I would start because it grabs the reader's attention. Sure, this scenario needs explanation, but not knowing something is part of the intrigue for the reader. The longer you delay their needs, the greater the denouement is going to be when it all comes together. That's just my two cents.
Thank you for your generous feedback. I will remove part 2.
No, keep part 2. Start with that. I just think you need to start from part 2 and rework this into a longer thing. Add part 1 back in later. Never completely discard your stuff on the cutting room floor. That shit can be worked in later. You might have to do a mix of some parts being comics, interspersed with just text. In the long run that will look cool. But, doing it piecemeal and episodic is a great way to figure out which chapters work, which don't, and it gets your stuff out there man! Focus on making the little parts first, and then you can add them up together as chapters to a book. Kind of like Canterbury Tales. And then when it's all done, you can sell it as a book. Be careful though with AI, because some places explicitly say that the works it samples and then repurposes can't be used commercially. Some can. There's some that sample your own art, photographs, and writing, so that you remain the sole owner of the property and there is no issue. You should probably look into that.
Awesome. Thank you very much for this valuable feedback and breakdown to expand the story. I truly appreciate it🙏🏾 no one has ever been so helpful before in offering practical feedback to my creative work 🙂
Not everyone sees it that way, so thank you. I look forward to working with you.
Yes. Likewise 🤝
hey, good tiramisu is hard to find
Yes. It's a rare delicacy to find that subtle blend of coffee and cream 😸
there ya go! It would not be the least comprehensible crime of this decade, would it?
No. We're living through interesting times where nothing should surprise us anymore.
sadly, nothing does
And interesting enough, it's reading sci-fi growing up that prepared me to take our current times at face value. More than once I've been struck by how much our shared present feels like a Philip K. Dick novel😄
Dick, Vonnegut, and Orwell all rolled into one